My Profound Experience with Writing

It’s a funny/sad reality when someone such as myself can write such beautiful words due to the fact I’m so broken inside.

It’s almost not even a choice.. I write cause there’s to much pain to endure.. I write cause there’s no other outlet for me to express myself.. I write cause I actually have no one to talk to.. no one to share my joys.. my downfalls with..

I write cause it keeps me objective, it keeps me on the “write” path (haha). I write cause I love the joy it brings, it allows me to establish clarity in what would of been a jumbled life.

I love to write cause I come up with ideas that I would have never pondered..

I love to write cause it helps me direct my energy into becoming my best self..

I love to write because it gives me a purpose to accumulate more knowledge, it gives me a medium which I can share my message, my knowledge, and the facts that are truly important to me.

I love to write cause you can’t see me as surface level, you can only see me as I am.

I love to write cause I love the idea of building a following of like-minded people.. I like the idea of a support system.. people who will correct me if I’m wrong.. people who also strive to see objectively and help others..

I love to write cause it keeps my life in perspective.. it keeps me thinking nothing is more important than this current moment.

I love to write cause you can see the experience in my words.

I love to write because I love so dearly and have no other way of channeling that in my current reality.

I love to write cause I love the potentialities.. I love the advancement of self and I love words themselves.

Very simply, I just love to write and the better I am at expressing myself the more I like to do so.

I know, sooner or later I’ll be consumed by writing but I’m enlightened by this.

I’m grateful for what writing/blogging has taught me and I look forward to more lessons that I’ll be sure to endure.

I’m grateful I found myself.. I’m grateful I’m now certain with who I am and I’m grateful I have the capacity to learn at the efficiency I can.

I’m grateful I found this medium, and I’m extremely grateful anyone is willing to read.

Thank you.



Personal Hunger & Pain

I’m hungry for change, I want to make a difference and I want to be part of a strong team.

I want to stop wasting time when I get home. It’s so easy to grab the bong and get lost into whatever TV show I throw on.

I’m smart enough to know this is where my life is dragging but I’m a fool for the fact that I fail to make real change.

My goal is to step outside of myself, to break the mold of flawed thinking.

I want to help others and help others improve themselves but how can I do that if I’m broken myself?

I really have high aims when it comes to writing on my blog. But let’s be honest, its “existing peacefully” so I don’t really  feel enticed to write till I’ve actually attained that state of mind.

I’ve battled myself my whole adolescent life to young adulthood, the illness sucks.

In all honesty, there’s a lot of good in my life when you consider who I am and who I came to be.. but it’s dreadful when I think about the stuff I’m still lacking..

I know I’ll get there though.. It’s only a matter of time. Just got to keep striving for what I believe in.

Now I strive differently and this is how I know I’m making strides. I use to strive out of adrenaline, out of stress.. now I actually strive and thrive out of happiness.

Don’t get me wrong I do have my moments where I doubt myself way to much..

But more often then not I recollect myself and I remember what I’ve done already.

My strength is far beyond anything I can comprehend so I try not to anymore.

I just work for more as I appreciate what is.

I pray for all, and appreciate God’s grace.

Thank you anyone who takes the time to read my articles.

Conscious Eating

Dear Future Self,

As I fight to regain balance in my life due to accumulated neglect and avoidance I am aiming to keep things simple and light.

I don’t want to stress anymore, happy is the only way to be.

In making better connections with nature and mother earth I am working to become more conscious of all my behavior.

My first focus, being a conscious eater.

  1. I want to be deliberate with what I put in my body.
  2. I want to eat as a source of fuel, not to ward off stress.
  3. I want to eat healthy foods that makes me feel better about myself.
  4. I want to be more consistent with my meals, my portions and nutrition.
  5. I want to eat every morning.
  6. I want to drink more water throughout the day.
  7. I want to make sure I get enough protein in a day and if not, resort to a protein shake.
  8. I want to make sure I have lunches, meals and snacks throughout the day if I’m not home.
  9. I want to make sure I get enough green veggies, if not resort to a supplement. (mine that I have on hand is Cytogreens)
  10. I want to drink more green tea, drink less Tim’s and more instant coffee if need be.

Nothing more.

As I’m focusing on rebuilding my connections I’m working to keep my load light, no need to stress.

I’m happy where I’m at but there’s always room for improvement.

For now these are my simple improvements to be made.

P.S. Today I found a lot of enjoyment reading about eating disorders, probably something I could get into and acquire a lot of knowledge on.


Future Self

Hobbies & The Bigger Picture

Don’t let anything prevent you from doing what you know is possible.

Do everything you can to make your vision a reality.

If other people don’t support your vision they are simply to small of thinkers to understand.

We are all capable of so much.

We can all move mountains so to speak, as impossible at it seems, as humans we are capable of always finding a way.

Effort is the defining aspect which makes our idealistic views a reality.

Without discipline we will never get to where we want to be.  But what’s the point of being disciplined if you don’t like what it is you’re doing?

That’s why you should fashion the skills you need for the future, regardless of what others think.

Work now to master your craft. Use your leisure time and personal space to dig into projects and hobbies you’re passionate about.

Let your hobbies be an outlet for stress, a way to overcome the minimal nature of our true daily lives.

Let your hobbies remind you what progression looks like.

Let your projects remind you that from nothing but pure imagination true beauty can be created.

Let your art be a vessel for the soul, a way to let it speak, a way to express what is truly important to you.


Challenges & Stretching Comfort Zones

When was the last time you’ve changed things up?

We’re all creatures of habit but when was the last time you added variety to your life?

When was the last time you tried to establish a new good habit?

When was the last time you did something and thought to yourself “wow, as if I just did that!”?

Have you been stuck in your shell for to long?

Life gets dull when we remain stagnate.

Move, get outside.. find ways of being active.. ways of socializing with others..

It’s so easy to retreat to our comfort zones where stress levels are manageable.

We need to break free from the chains of past conditioning, break out of your old habits and challenge yourself to tackle something new.

What’s holding you back from trying something new?

Why not pick up a new hobby? try a new routine? 

Why not volunteer somewhere?

Why not work in new ways to better yourself?

Get comfortable leading by example, not everyone will understand your reason for doing the things you do, but don’t let that stop you.

Do you and embrace more and more of the possibilities of what is.

You don’t need to see the whole staircase but you do need to take the first step.

Don’t lose your flare or spark for life, ignite change.


Letting Go & Being Happy

When was the last time you didn’t feel an enormous weight on your shoulders?

What’s weighing you down?

Are you putting to much pressure on yourself? is someone else?

Life’s to short to be anything other than happy.

Don’t let anyone dictate your happiness, allow yourself to do what truly fulfills you regardless of outside judgments.

If something or someone is a constant burden to your being, do what’s necessary to separate yourself from this negativity; addition by subtraction so to say.

Again, life’s to short to be anything but happy.

Don’t put to much pressure on yourself to be something your not. You are beautiful the way you are.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and once you open up your eyes to the endless possibilities life has to offer you’ll see life as it is, an endless wonder.

Accept who you are, be patient, happy and participate in life; only then do true miracles begin happening.

Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” – Abraham Lincoln


The Profound War

Why is it so hard for us to do what we know is right?

Why doesn’t all of humanity have the right idea?

Why is the truth hidden? deceptions promoted?

Why is it so easy to talk about darkness, killing, death, pains but not easy to talk about love, light, peace and God?

Why do people get defensive the moment you even bring up the concept of God?

Why can’t people allow people to think for themselves without getting defensive?

Why do I feel like there’s so much sadness bringing me down? so much weight on my shoulders when there’s nothing there?

Why do we feel hopeless? Why are we afraid to talk about mental health? Why do we always feel like we’ll be judged for being our genuine selves?

Are we using religion as an escape or are people ignorant to the healing powers and capabilities?

Why can’t I just accept God into my heart? I believe he’s there.. I just wish he would give me the tools I need to complete myself. To break out of the chains that limit me.

I need to break my cycle of addiction, as long as I give myself to the physical desires I lose all motivation to acquire anything more.

I need to stop giving myself to the senses.

I need to establish a support system that inspires me to be my whole self.

Where do I find this support system though? I can’t even talk about my beliefs with my neighbor?

The only place I’ve found like-minded thinkers is online at this point..

I’m a reserved individual, so I don’t talk to everyone but I need to work on building a support system for myself in my daily life.

God is the connection I want to make with others so I want to embrace him more.

I want to find salvation and I believe I will.. I pray for the day it all changes.