Self-awareness, Resiliency and God

Don’t forget where your journey started. You’ve come long ways so far and still have strength and resiliency to go way further.

Be the change you wish to see in the world, be a difference maker.

Not everyone will relate but those who do will see lots of worth in the value you offer.

I’m trying to restore my heart in a place of solid gratitude. A lot of the time I am happy with what I have but I still fall down to the place where I become ungrateful and resentful.  I’m working towards bettering my connections with all of mother nature.

As hippy as that may sound its the truth. I’m working to build better connections with myself and others. When it comes to myself I’m working on getting better sleep, working on maintaining a fitness routine, working on bettering my finances and working on establishing overall clarity in my endeavors.

Each day I try to contribute to my overall plan. In my long term plan I would like to help others while still being my true self doing so.

I feel like I would love to be a social worker. I would love to help the less fortunate or the people who are in a place of hopelessness.

What I did was I looked at a social worker course online and I wrote down all the classes. I then looked online for a PDF version of a textbook that would be relevant to those classes. Essentially I’m taking the same courses I would as if I were taking the course but I am doing so free of charge and with no certifications.

My whole life I’ve been one to give up easily on things. I would always start thing with great hopes of accomplishing great things, I’ve accomplished a lot but as of lately I haven’t accomplished much.

When I was in high-school I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. All I knew is I loved football and wanted to be a football coach. I told myself I would own a gym. I told everyone this. Sadly to say I was pretty delusional in my younger years.

It took me a long time to start building realistic goals. I use to have all these fancy ideas of how things would play out but to bad for me, they never happened.

Before I knew it I stopped looking forward to something. After high-school passed I went to college, took a business course cause I didn’t know what else to take.

I kept hope alive for a long time with the gym idea, I really did. I probably convinced a lot of people I would too.. but probably looked like a fool to most.

I use to be so in tuned with what I wanted and I would do anything to get to where I wanted to be. I accomplished a lot but I never met my goal of owning a gym.

As it is I began writing blogs, since I started I gained a huge boost of confidence and understanding of myself.

I’ve come to know that I’m not crazy and I actually had an intense mindset when I was younger.

The thing that has come to hurt me the most was denial. I denied a lot and would seek to find answers that fit my criteria.

For the longest time I’ve been working to escape reality. Some of my behavior was productive but some of my behavior was just me “being busy“.

I’ve been stressing for a long time. I’ve been alone to reflect more than one should.

I never lost sight of my strength, my resiliency and my ability to rise above my given circumstances.

The last few years I’ve been building a lot of negativity in my life. I’ve been building walls between me and reality. You know what they say “thoughts become things” and I was thinking way to much, not in the right way either.

I was overthinking myself to my doom. I even thought at one point I could think myself out of the situation. I would plan and plan and plan but the thing I lacked was integrity and follow-through.

I’ve come to realize you can’t overthink your way to happiness. I’ve come to terms with the stages of creating change (pre-contemplation, contemplation, action and maintenance) and I no longer sit at the contemplation/pre-contemplation stage.

I use to offer so much resistance against what is but I think it’s cause of my rejection of self. I was so far into denial that I thought I was actually happy even though I’m a cripple to substance abuse.

Your psychology is what you make it and the philosophies you live by will create the realm you live in. I’ve come to understand that I have a family/brain disease which is my addiction to marijuana.

Even though I have an addiction this doesn’t make me any less of a person it only means my mood will fluctuate based on how much I consume. My mood will never be stable unless I’m constantly finding ways to get high.

But hey, it is what it is.

Maybe that’s my therapy for the time-being, maybe it’s my medicine. Maybe if I wasn’t smoking weed I’d be hooked on something else?

Even though I’ve been a chronic pot smoker I’ve always been able to grow as an individual. Addiction destroyed a lot of my potential but it also helped me to see things for as they are.

This moment is an accumulation of all the good and bad that was and is. Choosing to deny the bad of the past is like choosing to deny memories and reality.

We are all that we are. Accept it.

The moment I stopped resisting and being so argumentative is the moment I began growing.

Don’t get so caught up in who’s right or wrong for a particular situation. The only thing that matters is that we do our best with what we’ve given. If we don’t know the answers we should be honest with the fact.

We shouldn’t feel burdened to ask for help. That was and still probably is my biggest flaw.

Why do we struggle to ask for help even when we are on our last straw about to do something drastic?

A lot of us are afraid of feeling judged for our insecurities so we keep them contained never to spill. If we hold our insecurities inside we are inevitably giving way for future disruptive emotions.

We need to learn to find our balance between being passive and aggressive. It’s so important we become assertive or else we will never be happy.

I was the kid to sit in silence forever. I thought nothing could ever hurt me. If I was in a situation where I was stuck “waiting” in an uncomfortable setting, I was on point. I was so good at not-socializing and accepting uncomfortable interactions.

I would do this so often, holding all my emotions inside till I would eventually erupt with emotion.

This was the free-fall of my demise.

Only when I learned to become comfortable socializing and expressing myself was I able to find my true fulfillment.

Writing blogs has helped me so much, I couldn’t even begin to explain.

Before I began writing my blogs a year ago I was a lost child. I had so many great ideas but never took the initiative.

Blogging helped me uncover so much of my subconscious. It allowed me to see into my flawed thinking and allowed me to build a direction for myself.

It’s so nice to have a collection of your own thoughts so you can evaluate yourself and your beliefs. I think that’s what blogging was for me. I always had strong deep beliefs to the point where I began to question myself.

I remember one time my best friend was trying to correct my thinking and he told me there was “no God“. This wrecked havoc on my well-being as weird as it sounds.

Only when I began believing whole heartedly did I start actually feeling what they call “grace” and holy did I ever need this.

Since I began believing whole heartedly “grace” has been more and more of a constant in my life. I’m learning to see the good in everything despite flaws and imperfections.

Life is what you make it and I’m determine more than ever to make it something worthwhile.

Man life is great. Haha. So this post may seem like a bunch of jumbled thoughts but it’s cause I’m so excited to be able to gain insight from my past. Each post I become more and more self-aware.

So with this I just want to say thank you to all my readers.

I wish you the best and I hope you can find your “grace” as I did. I’ll keep writing and if you ever need some positive insight be sure to check back with my blog.

Much love.




Finding Source


Mind of mine

Silent and blind

So eager to find

The pieces left behind.

Today’s anew,

tomorrow’s afoot,

this moment is all,

I accept it, it’s good.

Calm mind, anxious mind

I use to be stressed all the time

I let go of expectations and my competitive drive

let go of my ego, became minimal and wise.

Up down, forward and back,

took me a while to be grateful with what I have.

Let go of what is, we all get sad.

Just get back to being you,

creating good feelings that last.

Positive and loving, supportive and warm

I’ve come into my own from all that I’ve known.

Won’t stop now, the journey just got interesting..

I just got good at opening my mind and listening.



Unedited: “I Want” Confessions

I want to help people not worry. I want to help people see beyond their daily stresses.

I want to be someone who helps ignite others to reach their dreams.

I want to stop worrying about myself and my own future.

I want to build and make progress everyday. I want to create something I’m truly proud of, something no one can take away.

I want to be me. I want to build myself up and be a beacon for others.

I want to be a leader. I want to lead by example, I want to be the expectation so others can find their inspiration and follow.

I want to make a good connection with the people in my life.

I don’t want to take life to seriously.. I want to be able to have more fun.

I want to be more social. I want to stop resorting to my extremely isolated ways. I want to make a difference in my community and online.

I want to make a difference to the people around me. I want to be someone they can lean on.

I can be a beacon of strength but I also want to be a beacon of happiness. I want people to laugh more when they’re around me.

I want to be more humorous. As it is, I can be logical and smart but that doesn’t always lead to great conversations and perceptions. I want to be laughed with. I want people to think they can’t stop smiling when they’re around me.

I want people to forget about their psychological pain when they’re with me.. I want them to be free from judgment and to speak from the soul.

I want people to see me as I am in my truest form. I don’t want people to identify me as my ego. I don’t want to be super competitive, I want to be supportive. We can all have our own growth, our own abundance; I want everyone to understand that.

I want to build a network of support. I want to hangout with people again.. I’m tired of being alone and living my boring life when I’m at home. I want to socialize. I want good friends.

I want to give my time to people and things that matter. What matters is progress and doing my best, but what also matters is being happy and not getting overwhelmed.

I want to find the fine line and walk it. I want to do all I can without being stressed.

I want to give my energy to the good so it can snowball into something great.

I want to be humble, genuine and honest, so I can build on what is now and real.

I want to encourage others to follow their beliefs and I want others to encourage me to follow mine.

I want people to be open with how they think and feel. I want to inquire more into other people’s lives. I want to establish a strong rapport with my friends, peers and co-workers.

I want to have open lines of communication with my family also. I want to be more expressive as to what’s going on my life.

I no longer want to hold things in. I want to let everything out and say what needs to be said when it needs to be said.

I want to stop being such an angry individual. I want to ward off my anxiety and depression and keep it away. I want to stay consistent with being happy. I don’t want to fall into my debilitating depression anymore.

I don’t want to talk about depression with people anymore.. the idea in itself is depressing.

I want to bring light to people. I want to bring warmth and happiness. I don’t want people to dwell on the negative when they’re with me, I want them to reflect on the positive that is.

I want to be funny and have jokes that light up someone’s day.

I want to be able to bring people out of their depression and their feelings of hopelessness. I want people to live free from concern. I want to help people realize they are more often then not their own worst enemies. I want them to know that they have all the reason in the world to believe in themselves.

I want people to know that even though sometimes I’m wrong and think I’m right, I’m sorry. Sometimes we aren’t fully aware of what it is we’re doing.

I want people to know that without them I would of gave up on myself a long time ago.

I want people to know that they have the potential and the ability to change the world. We all do.

18 Tips to Unleashing Your Happiness

1. Life’s short, don’t squander your moments.

2. Take the good with the bad and go with the flow.

3. There’s things you can change and things you can’t; accept the fact.

“The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence – it is to act with yesterday’s logic”Peter Drucker

4. Be an agent of change and control what you can.

5. Don’t grip on to tightly to set results and expectations.

Do your best to be your best and let everything else run it’s course. We are all that we are, today’s loses are tomorrow’s guide to empowering new progress.

6. Learn to cherish each moment as it comes.

Nothing is perfect. Once we come to accept life and it’s imperfections we can simply be, as the universe intended.

7. Learn to let go of bad thoughts and replace them with good ones.

Build discipline in monitoring your thoughts. Attitude is everything and the small beliefs you create accumulate subconsciously. Let the small beliefs be good one’s that encourage a healthy well-being.

8. Don’t give up on yourself.

Bad thoughts will come and go, resurface and disappear. You’re going to doubt yourself, that’s life. Don’t count yourself down and out, don’t build up bad energy, choose to harmonize your actions in a way that builds confidence for what’s to come.

We can never predict the future but we can prepare and be proactive based on forecasted expectations.

9. Find your happy place.

Find a place you can go, something you can do that brings you calmness and joy. Sometimes we need to find our own silence away from life’s distractions in order to reset ourselves.

10. Remember you can’t make everyone happy. It’s better to have a few good friends than to have lots of friends.

“Ten minutes with a genuine friend is better than years spent with anyone less.”Crystal Woods 

11. Work to make yourself proud first, then work to please others in the same fashion.

12. Learn to refocus and re-channel yourself. If you’re not getting the results you hoped for, switch it up.

13. Strive for balance in all areas of life.

Rekindle past relationships, begin a new work-out plan, or set your commitment to eating healthier; choose to work on your weaknesses, whatever they may be. There’s always room for improvement.

14. Learn to catch your flawed thinking patterns; your illogical thoughts, your overgeneralizing and your subjective tendencies.

Fight for knowledge and seek out the bigger picture.

15. Read, engage and explore deeply into whatever interests you. Don’t stop expanding your knowledge base.

Determine what you want to improve today, what you want to learn and what is truly relevant and present in your life. Read to bring light to your situations, to build awareness and so you can see all the possibilities that lie ahead.

16. Miracles do happen. We increase our odds if we are fully present at the right time and at the right place.

Honor your moments. Stack honored moments and life will begin to look as if it is playing out your wishes.

17. Miracles are a long shot but with devotion and perseverance we always have the law of averages.

“It’s the law of averages: put in more, come out with more.”Bruce Lee

18. Emotional stability and personal confidence is key, you determine your own worth.

Attitude goes long ways in determining personal success and happiness. Don’t let today’s turmoil spoil tomorrow’s opportunities, rise above and choose to take the high road.


Correlating your Words with Actions

Start living in accordance to what you say. Don’t take risks with your word, be honest and genuine always.

If you have nothing good to say don’t say it. If the situation has to be addressed be assertive be sensitive the fact some people take life personally.

Don’t get defensive, it shows your insecure and weak.

Silence can be a strength when used properly. In this case, be silent if you have nothing good to say, choose to lift people up rather than push them down. The human tongue is fatal as it holds the power to life and death.

Be smart. Don’t cause unnecessary drama, karma is karma however you slice it. What you put out to the world will eventually come back to you so have good intentions with everything you do.

Honor your self. Speaking out of turn or just to speak is foolish and only makes you look silly. Choose to listen when the time calls for it, be attentive and respond genuinely.

Integrity is key. What’s the point of making promises to yourself or others if you never follow-up with it? Abide by your word like your reputation hangs on the line in every single case. Choose to take the high road and not to stoop to low-forms of being. Ignore those who speak foolishly.

There’s no point in trying to convince a fool, they’re always right.

Be smart with the company you keep. Don’t be around people who constantly bring you down. Find people who are encouraging, positive, and supports you in your endeavors.

Don’t let people break your will. No matter what great news you have people will dismiss it as if it were of no importance. Don’t let naysayers come between you and potential opportunities, just be you, show up and do your best.

Sometimes we need to break out of our current conditions to really achieve our peak greatness. Don’t let anything deter you. Don’t share your full self with everyone, give yourself to those who are loyal and see your worth.

Try not to talk when there’s nothing to say. Some moments speak for themselves and we just have to acknowledge what is with clear eyes and an open heart.

Don’t make false promises. Deliver on your word and build a strong reputation built on integrity and finishing what you start.

Today is a new day and it’s never to late to start honoring your word. Take gradual steps, focus on small feats till you can accomplish something greater than yourself.

Make a conscious effort to say less and do more. Be humble but strong, quiet but perseverant.

Exceed expectations and work for the intrinsic rewards. Work to please yourself first then aim to please those around you.


I’m doing my best not to withdraw from social situations when given the chance, every day is a new day to shine as I am.

People will accept you if you give them a chance. Don’t push people away, you only live once, don’t destroy your connections, burn bridges and ruin your possibilities.

People are the abundant factor, people have so much to offer and once we open our eyes to that fact we can reach new heights and ways of being that truly fulfill us.


We are all that we are, so choose to be you wherever you are.

Just be happy and let the feelings soar,

Find your passion and continuously explore

Explore new feelings, explore new thoughts, explore the inner you, don’t let the feelings just rot.

Put your feelings to use, build with the talent that you’ve got,

We’re all unique and all can offer a lot.